I am on disability, which most likely has a number of years ahead of me, though, I plan on working hard and learning. I just need to get rid of these horrible pains and the many side affects of what I had done to me. I do this not to score points with my all too many doctors, but I have found a true "calling," if you will. My company is in a stasis mode. Clients are asking us to do the work we always done, and I have had to be very honest. It will be some time before I get back to work, and I don't know what I will be doing at that point. I love the company I created with the help of so many people. We had a true "Major League" opening, a post cards sent out in the weeks before our officical launch, a lot of press directly before the opening, and setting the company up as still having me as the primary creative entity to help our clients to tell their stories to their audineces. I look forward to the day when the surgeries and the never ending pain is at a point to where I can work once again. Before I ended up in disability, my own long term disability insurance and my Social Security Disabilty, I tried, to the detriment of my health, to be as involved as I always had been. I worked the same hours, once we were on site for the program, that I had always worked. Our work was good and our clients always got the best possible production, bar none. The issue was that my health, more, by body, could not take the six years of the worst the pain imaginable and the never ending lines of surgeries and procedures. Finally, it got so that when I would fly home from a major project, which meant almost a week of 19 hour days, my body just would give out. It was funny, in an odd way, I always managed to be alert and talkitive with the flight attendants on the red-eye flights, which I preferred.
Working as I was, doing more damage to my body than I should have or that was warrented, the work effort most likely caused me to heal more slowly and the pain that I still live with, to never have a chance for some recovery. After one particular program and as we were laying out our production schedule, my mind finally heard what my doctors, clients, team members, and my partner had been telling me, I had to stop. Just stop and work in getting healthy or most likely I would die or, worse, stay in the pain that I was living with and, actually, still do. However, now I am having things treated and not undoing them by my crazy idea of what I needed to do to give my clients the best possible conference, video, and/or major leage concert. Even now, I still push myself, wanting to be back at work do someething, but not really being able to articulate what it is, or, in the next moment even know what I was thinking. That, sad to say, happens all too often. I will find myslef telling a friend something, then stop and have to ask them what I was speaking about. Pain, left untreated, can do a number on one's mind. That brings me to the first line on this post, when is it too old to have blogs or to care about some of the social networking? I don't know, but, I also worked out, that the only limit would be one of ability and/or desire. Those would be my call. For, now, keep moving forward where ever that may take me.
